Mod80, that’s why its important to CYLOR.
In the case of relatives, you can’t usually invite the child without the parents, especially when they are young. This is very true if the parents know WHY you are only inviting the child and WILL take offense.
Its not a simple situation. But I do find the “assur gamur” statements are ridiculous and attempting to cast aspersions on things that fall within the bounds of halacha.