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You are not accounting for the completely different motivations.
Secular society pushes women to work for equality and self-fulfillment. Torah society tolerates or pushes it as a modern day application of the gemara in Brachos (17a):
?”? ?? ??’ ???? ???? ???? ????? ??????? ?????? ??? ?????? ???????? ??????? ?? ???? ?????? ???????? ?? ???? ??? ????
I’m willing to accept that for the sake of argument (arguendo or “L’Didcha”) . All that says is that “we” (whomever the we is) consider the “ends” to justify the “means” of conditioning our daughters to accept what you agree to be a “modern” interpretation. This is against Chazal and what was accepted by Klal Yisroel for thousands of years.
Show me a Rishon (even though that was not how we ever paskened) that understands the Gemorah in Brachos your way, and maybe I’ll reconsider. Until then, consider yourself “Modern” Orthodox 🙂