mentch1
There was an exclusion clause for the very wealthy! (which is part of what lead me to my #2 above, exactly like simcha613)
I dont remeber the exact lashon but it was somehting along the lines of:
We the undersigned will not attend a simcha that does not adhere to the above takonos barring a family memebr or pressing circumstances
“The pressure to conform comes from those setting the high standards. “
absolutely false! The pressure to conform comes from WITHIN! granted there are external factors but that isnt the ikkar.