Areivim, that is exactly what I am trying to address. People need to find some way of boosting their self-esteem and confidence both for shidduchim and for anything else. It doesn’t mean they need to be the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company. But they still need to feel positive about themselves. I am trying to say that most anyone can develop this, and can learn to not only be more confident in private, but even in public.
I have even seen handicapped people who look great and are the most lebedig in the crowd, leading on everybody else at a simcha or whatever. Certainly those who are blessed to be normal can speak with confidence. One must have a positive attitude about him or herself, if he/she wants somebody else to have a positive attitude about him/her.
Too many people go around saying I am weird and ugly and nobody will want me, and that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. In just about every case, Hashem gives people the physical attributes to be attractive to others. They need to realize that they already have this gift, instead of complaining and worrying about imagined flaws.
In extreme cases, it leads to eating disorders and people going through unnecessary surgery in a desparate attempt to fix something that was never a problem to begin with. I have seen some people who were super attractive to begin with stop eating, and become totally sickly and emaciated, thinking they are now more attractive. Everything about them now looks terrible because of malnutrition, chapped skin, sore gums, bones protruding, gaunt faces, etc.