Frankly, ames, I doubt it. They haven’t been gracious to me of late. I’m more than a little annoyed.
There are basically two arguments that people make to rationalize (not prove) the theory:
1) More classes per grade in the younger ages than older
2) Chassidishe similar age marriages and the seeming lack of crisis in their circles.
Therefore, different ages of boys and girls makes a “stranded on the island” situation.
I will start with one and see if it gets through.
First, the easy one. The appearance that there is no crisis in the Chassidish circles is a common element of human self-centeredness. If they don’t have “our” issue, we think they must not have any issues. The truth is just the opposite.
There is another phenomenon. Many chassidishe girls are leaving the circles because they are drawn to the so-to-speak mainstream yeshivish type of shidduchim. The Chassidishe boys are actually choosing from a diminishing proportion of girls who choose to buy into a lifestyle that does not allow them to work, drive, have hobbies, in general leave the home, or even date as we do. That, plus the fact that many of them too now want to have a marriage with a husband who is learning full-time for long-term. So what we are seeing there is a girl shortage, instead of a boy shortage. But the Chassidishe boys don’t get “stranded on the island” because they can always make concessions and then tap in to the mainstream shidduch pool. After all, there are many frightened girls out there who will gladly consider a chassidishe boy over being completely stranded. (Hence the famous catch phrase – “His family is chassidish, but you would never know it”. This could mean anything from a boy with Chassidish heritage who learned in litvishe yeshivos, aka a mere gartel wearer, to a fully Chassidish boy who is willing to look outside his own circles rather than getting stranded.)
Let’s see how this goes. I will provide a second installment if it goes through. Who knows – I could make this a serial and get published in some weekly magazine, as I have been accused.