Newbee: I’m not talking about “inherently” not good enough for me or anybody else to associate with. On a day to day basis, most compatibility and personality issues — and even faults — are not even thought about or noticed. However, when it comes to Shidduchim people and their families are examined with a magnifying glass; their faults, personalities and looks dissected and weighed.
That, and of course basic attraction, is how matches are eventually made (versus the Queen that matched her 400(?) servants and maid servants Wille-Nilly to prove a point, with disasterous results).
If this process makes you so queasy that you can’t eat at most people’s home it’s sad indeed. I hope that’s not really the case though and you misunderstood me.