Dear Mrs.L.
Yes it’s hard such a breeah exists and kol hakavod. But please don’t do a huge disservice to the Jewish families out there by insinuating that outside help is unnecessary, and minimizing the monumental effort it must take to keep your house in ship-shape order, raise kids and work out of the home too… Many of our women are juggling multiple roles these days, and just can’t be expected to do everything.(even though you may come across a “supermom” every now and then. Expecting the woman to do everything AND raise kids usually will mean she has much less energy to give to the kids.
Having a cleaning girl come in once, twice or three times a week can be a huge source of menuchs hanefesh, and take the strain off of them. I have heard of families who were buckling under this pressure which resulted in major problems in sholom bayis, and when minimal cleaning help was provided, the problems were subsantalliy alleviated, and sholom bayis was restored.
We all have the same 24 hours a day to work with, and push comes to shove, if I had one hour in which to clean the bathroom or review the chumash with my son, I would choose my son. The cleaning lady is good enough for the bathroom but no one replaces a mother.
I am not suggesting that a woman should be spoiled with full-time help etc, and then ask for tuition assistance (it’s hard to really believe that goes on, but if it does, they are in a minority, and judging them favorably might be in order.)but there is a middle path.
Rebz. Zehava Braunstien a”h is known to have said that if you have extra money, it should go to the cleaning lady. Personally, I would rather forgo a lot of things before giving up on the cleaning help. For many, it is not a luxury but a necessity.
Husbands out there, appreciate the necessity and don’t be stingy with your wives when it comes to this inyan. If money is tight consider giving up something that YOU splurge on.