Gavra, therea are good reasons why none of those will ever happen. Since you’re being entirely hypocritical anyhow, you could have saved yourself a lot of typing and simply wrote one word: vouchers.
Not sure how “hypocritical” applies, mind explaining yourself?
I thought about vouchers and didn’t include them, but will with an asterisk. Vouchers require external funding that is not in our control. As the Gemorah terms it “Taloui B’daas Acheirim”. Therefore it can’t be included as a fix.
*However, now that I think about it, Wisconsin has a voucher program in place currently. A possible solution would be for Lakewood Yeshiva (as well as others who are interested) to pick up and move to Wisconsin, which would be helpful in more ways than one.