mosherose, the halacha of “lo yilbash” refers to dress/ accessories/ personal grooming habits. It does not refer to other actions. Do you have a source for your statement that cooking or changing diapers would be included, or is it just a guess on your part?
And I’m not The Wolf, but if he and his wife agree to share important decisions, then he obviously approves of this method of running their household. How, then, could his wife be considered a moredes?