I once heard a great point: The Rambam teaches two sets of rules for husband – wife relationship.
1)(hilchos ishus 15,19) A man should honor his wife more than himself, and he should love her like he loves himself. If he has money he should give her lots of good etc… (see source).
2)One halacha later the Rambam writes: the woman should honor her husband more than enough… she should act according to his saying…He should be in her eyes like a king or a minister to do as he desires and keep away from what he dislikes…etc.
A great person once said: The first set of rules are FOR MEN ONLY! The woman should not be waving them in front of her husband to get him to act this way,The second set are FOR WOMEN ONLY,not for the man to demand this from his wife.
The same can be said of many issues about which way a man or woman should be/or should not be acting. Many of the rules are meant to be learned by those they are relevant to, and not that each side is a “bokey and chochom well learned and all fired up in what the other paty must do, and with his/her own obligations he/she remains a total ignoramus.