Your language of “but not because of the pasuk” is far different than your claim now that “The point was that my answer would be the same even absent the pasuk.” Your original terminology clearly indicates your disregard if not contempt for the pasuk.
“You also stated earlier in this thread that it’s perfectly fine with the Torah if I *don’t* run my marriage that way.”
I said that I think you have the right to surrender your rights. That in no way shape or form indicates that “Obviously it’s not a mandatory halacha.”
The bottom line is this:
We have an explicit pasuk in the Torah that a man rules his wife. It is clear, unambiguous, and black and white in so many words. It is part of the Torah HaKedosha. Period.
The meforshim (some previously cited) state this is halacha and the Torah ideal. Not some abstract concept or C”V some antiquated part of the Torah or a curse to hope to do away with or even just an interesting idea. It is the law of the land.
The above part of our Torah HaKedosha is nothing to be ashamed of. Even though the goyim will scoff at such “antiquated” ideas.
The above may be difficult to digest for someone exposed to feminism — as we all (probably) were. Even if you reject feminism in its entirety, these goyishe ideas from society tend to unfortunately (at least somewhat) rub off on us.
Kol Tuv