Reply To: Feminism

Wolfishmusings posted this inn the broken engagements thread but it really belongs here ;;;;;;;”In the end, she did both. When the kids were younger, she was a SAHM. Now that my kids are all teens and don’t need the full-time attention as much, she’s pursuing a career.”;;;;;;

I think this is fallacy that kids need parents so much less as they get to teenage years that there is “time to pursue a career” outside the home.

The Columbine shooters, were left alone while their parents pursued their high powered careers.

And that is just one dramatic example there are plenty of others that may not have been that bad and did not make the headlines

(like some who commit suicide because their parents were never around to talk to them, or at least not around ENOUGH).

I once heard about a true story about a woman who left her kids alone while she was always out ‘doing things’ like pursuing her Dressage hobby (my best understanding of what Dressage is, is; a combination of horseback riding over a course, while also performing various elegant movements designed to show proper and precise control of the horse and harmony between horse and rider) and someone asked her about leaving her kids alone all the time and she said something about how they could fend for themselves and they’d be alright.

So someone else asked her something like if she ever went on vacation away from her horses and she was actually shocked at the question.

“Of course not! She declared” My horses are very emotional and delicate creatures, they need constant attention or they would suffer without the care and attention I need to give them”.

This is what feminism causes…….A backwards non Torah attitude that children can be left alone that they do not always have questions and constant dilemmas where they need constant guidance, but animals do.

Now this woman was not Jewish but the same principle applies in properly raising kids.

This does not mean that the kids need ti follow mommy around, every second but many kids in one room playing will grow up with more confidence just because they knew their mother was in the house and they could talk to her and learn how to act on a daily basis just by watching and hearing her talk and make moral decisions at any random given time.

All these subtle but extremely important minutes are lost to a kid who mother just had to be out all day at her oh so important career.

People making these decisions have no idea of the harm they are doing because it is not easily quantifiable.

You cannot know when a person is 55 and running a business and makes a decision nit to learn Torah or not to forgive someone who made an honest mistake for which the business owner fired him, just because he did not see his mother on a daily basis make compassionate choices that would have inculcated him with enough understanding not to fire that employee.

Only H-sh-m can see those differences in peoples lives that deprive them of the necessary childhood training to have made a different decision that would have made someone else’s life far better.

And H-sh-m will require an accounting from everyone and some who thought their career was so much more important then being there for her kids during the time when she erroneously thought (they don’t need me during those hours and days).

Now she finds out G-d forbid, at the Beis Din Shell Mila, that she really should have been there after all.

That was the important thing to have been doing then, even though at the time, it may have looked tedious and boring and far from “Glamorous” like being a doctor and saving all those lives and getting all that credit from everyone (instead of the other doctor who would be there, if she never had that career. Remember of those lives were meant to be saved, H-sh-m would make sure they were saved no matter who would choose “not to” have, that career) when there would be no one to teach her own children the life lessons that only she could teach them.

EDITED for misspellings and typos. Also, the code is <strong>, not <bold> and the second one needs to begin with a slash (</strong>).