I think this is fallacy that kids need parents so much less as they get to teenage years that there is “time to pursue a career” outside the home.
Perhaps, perhaps not. I suppose it depends on the career and the kids.
The Columbine shooters, were left alone while their parents pursued their high powered careers.
And Hitler was a vegetarian. But vegeterianism (whatever else you might think of it) doesn’t lead one to kill six million people.
like pursuing her Dressage hobby
A hobby is much different than a career in terms of necessity and purpose. In addition, bringing an example from one person who crazily values her horses more than her kids is hardly proof that mothers doing anything other than mothering is bad.
This is what feminism causes.
No, that was caused by one person’s misplace values and bad judgement.
That being aside, I don’t think I have to defend my wife to you, but I will say this.
Eeees remained at home for the kids through their formative years. She made sure to be there for them whenever it was necessary. My youngest (Wilma*) is now approaching fourteen and going to high school this year. For the past few years Wilma and her siblings have been in school during the day, so my wife took the opportunity to go back to school.
Guess what? She makes sure to be home when they get home. It should be noted that we never left our kids with a babysitter on a regular basis.**
Starting in September, Wilma and all her siblings will be in high school. They will be away for longer stretches of the day. There is absolutely no reason why she should just sit around the house while they are at school. If she can go to school while they are there, there is no reason for her not to do so.
In addition, there is the fact that we need the extra salary that she will be bringing in. Yeshiva tuition is expensive and although I make a nice salary, it sometimes is just not enough. That was another motivation for her to go back to school.
Lastly, when she does graduate this year, she will be in a profession where she can make her own hours and keep her schedule flexible. This will allow her to be free to attend to the needs of the kids if she so desires.
As I said, I don’t need to justify our family decisions to you or anyone else. Nonetheless, I chose to respond. If you don’t like it, well… too bad.
I find it particularly galling that you chose to rant about this to me, when we have been pretty responsible regarding being there for the kids when there are plenty of kollel families that leave their kids with non-family babysitters on a regular basis to be raised by strangers.
The Wolf
* No, that’s not really her name.
** Yes, when we went out on a date or whatnot, but never because the kids were coming home from school every day before she did.