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Wolf last time I tried using the bold not bold stuff, it got those parts of my posts deleted, so I will stick with, what is safe to use.
I am talking about cases where the parent is NOT hime by the time the kids are or where the kids are home like with days off for whetever reason or have a cold or something that does not keep them in bed but still keeps them out of school.
No I never had the money to get married and raise kids properly.
But I have suffered………. ‘plenty’…….. at the hands many who were not raised properly.
“Thirdly, you seem to be under the assumption that parents are responsible for every decision their children make when they get older. That’s not true. My job is to give my kids the tools to make decisions on their own as they get older. If they’re a CEO in the future and fire someone, then it’s because they made the call based on their judgment. It is unfair and wrong to hold parents eternally responsible for everything their kids do in life.”
You are wrong “the apple does not fall far from the tree”.
I knew one family where the parents (especially the father) had made their home “loshon Hara central” (not that…….’they’….. called it that, but that is what it was De-facto) and the kids espcially the boys grew up doing the same thing.
I knew another family where they never said a single word of Loshon Hara (that I ever heard, not the slightest hint of any…..’ever’…….)
So how the kids are raised is how they will be.
If I could know a person and their parents personally all their lives, (this would not work with someone telling me about someone since in retelling, things are left out sometimes because the one saying it over, thinks a certain incident or something was not important and sometimes because they are covering up for someone or just trying to leave it out so that I would not be able to use it come to a proper understanding of the situation in order to ‘prove’ me wrong.
It would only be certain to work if I had known them extremly well over the entire period that I stated) from before they had kids; Till the kids are parents themselves.
I would be able to tell you about any flaw the kids had in their character and hashkafa and I would be able to tell you ….’exactly’…..what the parents did wrong, that caused the kid to have that flaw.
“When YOU bring them up, and use them as examples with the OBVIOUS implication that others should take some lesson from it regarding the topic being discussed.
No, it’s not OBVIOUS. Because something works for me, that doesn’t mean it works for everyone. Every parent needs to know their own situation. I know mine — and you don’t.”
Then you are bringing it up with no purpose, just so I can comment on it just so you can feel rightously offended that I commented on something that YOU BROUGHT UP, for no reason, as you just admitted, and which had nothing to do with the GENERAL discussion that ……’I’….. was DISCUSSING.
“See, a fair criticism would have been something like “I’m glad that works for you, Wolf, but I feel that in general…”
If I had noticed that you were getting specific only about YOUR wife I would have said something like that.
I am sorry for not noticing.
However that does not excuse you for bringing it up in a discusion that had nothing to do with specific situations that could be exceptions.
Most rules have exceptions.
A man may not touch a woman wh is not his relative.
But if he would let her drown because he not GENERALLY supposed to touch her he is called a “Chasid shota” or an idiot in the name of ‘righteousness’.
So when for example someone is discussing not touching women and how to act on a shidduch/date, that has nothing to with someones case where his wife was drowning and some otrher man saved her and how greatful he is.
It has no place in the discussion and is a waste of time to bring up, there.
And if someone would comment on it like pointing out how in the story the man had said his wife was climbing on the rail and leaning way over to see what the under side of the dock looked like and someone said she should not have done that.
For the man to then get all indignint and scream “how dare you judge my wife”. is the height of being illogical.
And my response was not “G-d will judge you” with the implication that I had any knowledge HOW he would judge.
YOU said that YOU THOUGHT G-d would approve.
So I simply responded one day you will, know whether he does or not.
AGAIN YOU brought it up, (in that context about G-d judging YOUR wife) not me.
If you want to spend your life getting offended at things, people discuss after YOU bring them up, you may do so, but it does not make it MY fault that YOU choose, to do things that way.