You don’t really believe yourself to be an apikorus, so it wouldn’t count.
Why should my feelings count?
Let’s put it this way… if I were eating treif, would it make a difference if I believed that pig was kosher? Yes, it might matter with regard to my degree of culpability, but it doesn’t change the fact that, regardless of my belief, I ate non-kosher.
Whether *I believe* I’m an apikorus or not is not the issue. If I am, then, according to Joseph, there is a mitzvah to bash me. If not, then there isn’t.
The Wolf