PuhLease,
I fell badly about what you have gone through but I’d like to make a couple of points.
1) At one point I was extremely sick, I was rushed to a local hospital where I was badly misdiagnosed, that wrong diagnosis almost cost me my life.
When I was brought into another hospital the Doctors overseeing my care actually stated that in this case they feel I should sue the pants off of them because the people who saw me in the first place should not be practicing medicine.
Yet I still see Doctor’s, in my case pretty frequently.
I know in my heart that medicine as a whole is beneficial it is “true” even if some Doctor’s messed up and used it wrongly.
2) When one goes on an extended road trip they sometimes get lost, they some times take detours. However the objective is to reach the final destination.
As such they are on the road.
If the pull off and decide to turn back, to cease driving they are off the road.
The fundamental tenant of Yiddishkeit is that we are alive for a purpose to reach “deveikus” in Hashem to overcome the Yetzer Horah.
The roadmap for that is the Torah.
We are all imperfect, that is why we are alive to meet the challenges the Yetzer Horah throws at us, to battle them, and to overcome them.
As long as we are trying we are on the road.
When we let those challenges win and turn around we are off the road.