If someone finds Yiddishkeit miserable and wants to be Free Free of rules, there really isnt a whole lot you can do about it.
However many of the people only find things that really arent halachas, but rather Hashgafas or certain other things objectionable that can be worked around. If for example a woman hates shaving her head , or wants to drive or a man hates wearing chassidic garb and wants to wear western style clothing, but otherwise would remain religious, we need to let those people do those things and let them loosen up a bit. Sometimes the fight over the Levush leads to worse outcomes. Would you rather someone equate levush with yiddishkeite and they hate the levush that they give it all up or would you rather they dress western style but otherwise remain religious.
I want to answer the question about “Failing” some of the so called “Failures” are not failures, just failures according to some . If for example there is a bocher who hates learning, cannot really sit in the beis medrash, but wants to be an artist and seems good at it, Its considered a failure to be an artist as opposed to a Illui. One can certainly be a frum artist. Non-Conformism is considered a failure in certain circles, but in general society they try to use the talents of non-conformists for positive things (Most artists are non-conformists)