Reply To: Survey – for men only

The Goq: Until I was approximately 34, it didn’t matter to me if the guy had a job or not as long as he was willing to go to work IF and WHEN it became necessary.

After that age, it became important to me that he be doing something in addition to learning. This could mean giving a shiur or a chabura once a week and it didn’t have to be paid work. This was mainly because I felt (and I’m not saying my feelings were necessarily accurate and apply to everyone) that at that age it may not be healthy for a single guy to not be involved in some sort of “work”. Also, in terms of parnassah, if a guy has never done anything besides learn (not even taught at all) by the age of 35 or 40, it would make me nervous that he will never be able to (again that’s just my personal feelings and may not apply to everyone).

Since girls can learn to cook and bake after marriage regardless of how old they are when they get married, none of that is really relevant to a girl. But I could see a guy getting nervous if a girl had never done ANYTHING in the way of housework or childcare and spent ALL her time learning or studying. I have yet to hear of a girl like that!