dovrosenbaum…………..
If a family lives OOT and the 20 something child is attending medical, dental or law school the chances are that that child will not be living at home. Our children attended professional schools in major US cities with frum communities and amenities. They had apartments and had to cook and clean for themselves. It happens that sons 1&2 overlapped in one apartment. Daughters 1&2 occupied a condo in Brooklyn that we purchased for their grad school days.
The only commutable first rank law or medical schools that could have allowed living at home were at Yale. Having gone to a different IVY League U and Law school it was not what I wanted for them. The boys went to Harvard, the girls went to Penn. Daughter 3 is still in undergraduate school and in a dorm in NY.
Both MRS CTL and I went to college and prof schools and lived on our own. I guess our parents had more liberal attitudes than yours. Our family also doesn’t let children marry until education is complete and a professional license in place. Child 4 graduated Law School in December, took the Bar Exam (and passed B”H) and was married just before Pesach. This system works for us.