Reply To: Survey – for men only

Meno – I would like to hear Sparkly’s answer, but personally, I would think there are a few answers to the question:

1. Most girls want to know that the guy they are marrying is a responsible, capable, productive person. So if he’s learning full-time that is one thing, but if he is not, he should have a decent job.

2. It is the guy’s obligation to support the family. If the wife wants to support him while he learns, then he can/should learn, but otherwise, he is responsible for making sure that the family has a parnassah. The wife’s salary can’t and shouldn’t be relied upon too much. B’ezras Hashem, she will have kids, and might not be able to work. Some women have difficulty pregnancies and/or have a lot of kids close together, and it really is too much pressure for a woman to feel that the “ol parnassah” is on her. If she WANTS to do it in order to support her husband in Kollel, that is different, but even then, I think that it is important that the guy is willing to find a means of parnassah if/when it becomes necessary.

3. Many people (myself included) feel that it is VERY IMPORTANT for women to be home with the kids. If they have to work, there is no choice, but if they don’t, they shouldn’t work more than necessary. Most women feel that they need some kind of outlet, so they need to work part-time, but it should be limited if possible.