A little old Jewish lady is flying out of New York City on her way to Miami Beach. She looks at the businessman sitting next to her and asks him, “Excuse me sir, but are you Jewish?”
The man responds politely, “No, ma’am, I’m not Jewish.”
After a little while she again queries him, “You’re really Jewish, aren’t you?”
Again he responds, “No ma’am, I am not Jewish.”
Barely 10 minutes later, the little old lady asks him once more, “Are you sure you’re not Jewish?”
To which in exasperation, and in a final effort to shut her up, he replies, “Okay. Yes, ma’am, I am Jewish.”
“Funny,” she says, looking puzzled, “you don’t look Jewish!”
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Man says to G-d: “G-d, why did you make woman so beautiful?”
G-d says: “So you would love her.”
“But G-d, the man says, “Why did you make her so dumb?”
G-d says, “So she would love you”.
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A Jewish man went to eat at a Chinese restaurant and started to wonder if there were any Chinese Jews. So, when the waiter came over to take his order, he asked, “Pardon me, but I’d like to know if there are any Chinese Jews?”
The waiter said, “I no know. I go to kitchen and ask manager.”
After taking his order, the waiter went to the kitchen and returned in a few minutes. He explained to the man, “No. No Chinese Jews. We have orange Jews, tomato Jews, grape Jews, and pineapple Jews, but no Chinese Jews.”