Why do women live longer than men?
Because G-d adds them the time that they wasted on parking.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Why don’t women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be opened when she brings it to you.
What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A women who won’t do what she’s told.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
So, G-d made Adam. Adam was walking around one day and realized that he was lonely, so he asked G-d for a companion. G-d said, “I can make a woman for you. She will cook and clean and do everything you ask her to. She will wait on you hand and foot. It’s going to cost you an arm and a leg, though.”
Adam said, “Well, what can I get for a rib?”