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#1171946
squeak
Participant

Another KGB classic, in honor of our Ukrainian joke teller:

Stalin sat down in his chair one morning to write a letter, only to find that his pen was missing. Furious, he called the top brass and demanded that they find the culprit, instantly!

A short while later, Stalin calls back and says, never mind, I found the pen. I had put it in the wrong drawer last night. The official replies, but comrade, we have already made 6 people confess to stealing it!

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You know what the problem with blonde jokes is? Blondes don’t think they’re funny, and no one else thinks they’re jokes.

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We spend a lot of effort teaching our kids not to use bad language, so we can joke about it:

A 7 year old boy picked up a bad word, and started saying it frequently. The parents didn’t know what to do about it, so they asked their minister for advice (you didn’t think this was a Jewish family, did you?). He said the way to get him to stop saying it is to flog it out of him. Next time he uses the word, take him out of the room and give him a whipping to remember!

Sure enough, the next morning the kid says “Pass me the @#%$@#$ cornflakes”. The father jumps up, grabs the kid and takes him out of the room for his punishment. Never before had the kid been punished so harshly. A half hour later, the boy comes back in and sits down gingerly in his seat. Everyone looks up, and he says “I reckon I don’t want any of those @#%$@#$ cornflakes, after all.”