A Jewish boy come home from school and tells his mother he’s been given a part in the school play. “Wonderful? What part is it?” The boy says, “I play the part of the husband.” The mother scowls and says, “You go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.”
So , You wanted a Kosher Computer
I don’t know if you know this but they are now selling Kosher computers (Made in Israel) called DELLSHALOM. It is selling at such a good price that I bought one. Mine arrived yesterday.
If you or a friend are considering a kosher computer, you should know that there are some important upgrades and changes from the typical computer you are used to, such as:
The cursor moves from right to left.
It comes with two hard drives–one for fleyshedik business software and one for milchedik games.
Instead of getting a “General Protection Fault” error, my PC now gets “Ferklempt.”
The Chanukah screen savers include “Flying Dreidels”
The PC also shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
The “Start” button has been replaced with “Let’s go!! I’m not getting any younger!” button.
The multimedia player has been renamed to “Nu, so play my music already!”.
When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud “Oy Gevalt”
There is a “monitor cleaning solution for Pesach” from Manishevitz
After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes “Schloffen.”
Computer viruses can now be cured with some matzo ball chicken soup.
The Y2K problem has been replaced by “Year 5761-5762” issues.
If you decide not to shut down the computer in the prescribed manner, the following message appears: “You should be ashamed of yourself.”
When Spellcheck finds an error it prompts “Is this the best you can do!
Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing.
I told my computer that today is my birthday,
and it said I needed an upgrade.
-A Jewish telegram: “Start worrying. Details to follow.”
-A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.
-Too bad that all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair.