The European Commission has just announced an
> agreement whereby English
> will be the official language of the European Union
> rather than German,
> which was the other possibility.
>
>
> As part of the negotiations, the British Government
> conceded that English
> spelling had some room for improvement and has
> accepted a 5- year phase-in
> plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.
>
>
> In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”.
> Sertainly, this will make
> the sivil servants jump with joy.
>
>
> The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This
> should klear up
> konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
>
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
> sekond year when the
> troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This
> will make words like
> fotograf 20% shorter.
>
> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new
> spelling kan be expekted to
> reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
> possible.
>
> Governments will enkourage the removal of double
> letters which have always
> ben a deterent to akurate speling.
>
> Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent
> “e” in the languag is
> disgrasful and it should go away.
>
> By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such
> as replasing “th” with
> “z” and “w” with “v”.
>
> During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd
> from vords kontaining “ou”
> and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
> riten styl.
>
> Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun
> vil find it ezi tu
> understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
> finali kum tru.
>
> Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
> like zey vunted in ze
> forst plas.