some more kapusta humor…
You know you are in deep trouble when…
* The stewardess on your American Airlines flight tells you NOT to fasten your seatbelt.
* Your accountants letter of resignation is postmarked Panama.
* You have to hitch hike to the bank to make your late car payment.
* The little league puts you on waivers.
* Your suggestion box starts ticking.
* Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DEA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3.
* You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town.
* You see the cruise captain running toward the railing wearing a life jacket.
* They pay your wages out of petty cash.
* You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than you’ve ever had.
* Getting there is half the fun and three-fourths of the vacation budget.
* The simple instructions enclosed aren’t.
* A black cat crosses you path and drops dead.
* Your pacemaker has only a thirty day guarantee.
* The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.
* The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes out.