BS”D
If only I responded to every spam I received in my numerous inboxes:
I would be three or four times as wealthy as Bill Gates, Lakshmi Mittal and Warren Buffett combined and have a credit limit to match.
I would lose a total of thirty-five tons of body weight in three weeks, putting my body weight at 600 kilos minus 35 tons which is negative -34400 kilos or so assuming the spammers know I am in a metric zone where a ton = 1000 kgs.
I would have a warehouse full of free Mac Powerbooks, iPods, gas cards and Target gift cards.
I would have rescued the fortunes of the widows and children of countless African dictators, as well as that of former Russian oligarch Mikhail Khodorkovsky (spelled several ways) and that of Yasser Arafat der tzoirer ymach shmo 50 times a piece, and gotten 20% on each deal, thereby increasing item 1) to include the Sultan of Brunei as well.
I would have so many samples of different strength enhancers and vitamins that I would be able to lift the Empire State Building 1000 times without stopping.
I would grow so much hair that I would be able to provide sheitlach for Lakewood, Monsey and and most of frum Brooklyn after one haircut.
I would have so many free weeks in timeshares that I would have to take vacation for the next 150 years to enjoy them….