-We could certainly slow the aging process if it had to work its way through congress.
-I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon, then it’s time for my nap.
-Money can’t buy happiness, but it does bring a more pleasant form of misery.
-By all means marry. If you get a good spouse you’ll become happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
-The only reason people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.
-Intelligence is when you spot the flaw in your boss’s reasonning.
Wisdom is when you refrain from pointing it out.
-We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
-Politics is like inflation. The more we have of it, the more things cost.
– A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove you don’t need it.
-Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
-The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
-I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
-Caution – I was not hired for my disposition
-In a world without walls and fences, who needs Windows and Gates
-hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
-The best revenge is to live long enough to be a nuisance to your kids.