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#1173549
A600KiloBear
Participant

BS”D

Vaad Merkozi d’Sinas Chinom veMachloikes introduces Dor Reshoim.

No longer do you have to do background checks on shidduchim because we do it all for you completely anonymously. Our worldwide network of male volunteers (bulvonim) and female volunteers (choleriois) comb through every detail of your potential shidduch’s life and the life of his or her family. We even install hidden cameras in homes and cars to find out the really important details like music being listened to, dress, head covering and every last word exchanged by members of the family to each other and to everyone they interact with. We even have moles in major banks and financial institutions, as well as the welfare administration, so you can find out if your potential shver really has money or is just mortgaged and leased to the hilt!

Our system is very simple. We assign every prospective shidduch a number which is posted with their real name and address in every mikveh, coffee room, pizza shop and simcha hall in the US, Eretz Yisroel and Europe. Then, our network of bulvanim and choleiriois who see that information report back to our kommandanten who in turn share their information with you depending upon that all important factor – how much you pay them.

Our affordable sliding scale of payment, with rates depending on yichus, factors you want us to observe, and the car you drive (including whether you own it or lease it) is determined before the number is assigned and is as arbitrary as the shidduch process itself thereby guaranteeing its value.

For more information call 1-888-RESH-OIM now or contact Mechel or Gnendle in the men’s or ladies’ mikveh respectively.