BS”D
Tznius problems in your neighborhood? Call the volunteer modesty squad “Bulvanim” NOW before the whole neighborhood sees the bishe!
We break all exposed body parts, so that they will have to be casted or bandaged and therefore covered for a few weeks or months. Second offenses? We are licensed tree and Sharia surgeons and we cut that offending part off right at the root! Are you jealous of your 5’10” neighbor “Hot Chanie”? We help with such gayve as well, and if you call us she’ll be 4’3″ in no time!
We are authorized to act as modesty enforcement volunteers by the Islamic “A Pistachio is Not Even as Big as a Banana But We’ve Got Oil So We Get Nukes” Republic of Iran, and by Mullah Omar of Kehillas Koidesh Taliban d’Herat.
Brooklyn Bulvanim: 718-BUL-VANE
Rockland County Bulvanim: 845-MEN-IVAL
Otisville Bulvanim: They’re the ones who’ve already had experience in Brooklyn and Rockland.
PS: Are you or is someone you know 300 lbs or over, with the midos of a rabid pitbull? If so Bulvanim needs you – call us now and help us put an end to the problems of tznius violations in our communities now! Bleach and egg throwers and other schvachers not welcome.