Coffee addict:
1. It is possible that there are other opinions, but in the context of the original discussion and the reason I brought in Rav Frand’s shiur in the first place, it is irrelevant if there are other opinions.
2. When someone quotes Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach as saying something is muttar, you can’t just keep saying that YOU think it’s assur. If you know of another opinion that it is assur, please bring it.
3. Do you know of another opinion? If so, I would be happy to hear of it.
4. This is not a complete raayah, but I would imagine that if there is another opinion that the mainstream Litvish American world holds of, Rav Frand would have brought it. From listening to his shiur, it does sound like Rav Frand thinks this is the only opinion or at least the only one people should be listening to.
5. L’maaseh, let’s say there is another opinion. I don’t know if you are a boy or a girl, but let’s say you are a boy and you are on a date. Let’s say you have reason to believe the girl will be insulted if you walk ahead of her, and you know that you can be “somech” on Rav Shlomo Zalman and let her walk first. Don’t you think you should do so? If you walk ahead of her you will be insulting her and you can let her walk ahead of you without doing something “assur” since you can be “somech” on Rav Shlomo Zalman. Considering the fact that most people rely on Rav Shlomo Zalman for many things, why should you davka choose a more machmir opinion when someone’s feelings are at stake?
6. Re R’ Orlofsky’s shiur: you hadn’t yet mentioned it when I originally posted about Rav Frand’s shiur
7. I’m not sure what R’ Orlofsky’s shiur has to do with this topic. I listened to it many years ago, but as I recall it was about not talking to boys and about being shomer negiah. What does that have to do with a boy letting his date go ahead of him?
8. I always shake women’s hands, but I never shake men’s hands. Most people are fine with it when you explain it’s for Religious reasons. Once in Israel, I was with a girl who did shake a not-Frum Israeli man’s hand when he put out his hand because she thought she was supposed to halachically in order not to embarrass him. He responded by saying, “Oh, I thought you were Religious.” Apparently, he was testing her. I wouldn’t shake hands with men anyhow, but I do think that anyone who thinks they should in order not to embarrass the person should think carefully about it because Israelis often do know better and t/f may be testing them.
edited