Joseph: “Furthermore, one cannot be meikel on an issue that S”A assurs simply because there is an opinion out there, even a valid one, that isn’t from his rebbi or posek, being meikel on an issue. Even if someone else will be insulted that you didn’t latch on to the kulah and you instead followed the halacha as the Shulchan Aruch paskens and as your rebbeim pasken.”
Maskim. However, I was under the impression that Rav Shlomo Zalman says it’s muttar, and personally, I would not consider him “to be an opinion out there.”
It’s quite possible that I misunderstood what he wrote – I didn’t see it inside; I was simply quoting from what I understood from Rav Frand’s shiur.
I would be happy to see it. Do you know where I can find it? What’s the TE?
In any case, I think that it is very important that before a guy goes out, he asks his Rav what he should do, since either way, he is in danger of being over on a halacha. If he is told to go in front of the girl, he should make sure to find a way to do it that won’t offend her, such as by explaining to her why he is doing so.