I think the BY girls looking for a guy who is going to learn forever thing is less of a trend than it used to be. The girls are looking for someone who is serious about his learning and yidishkeit which by and large tends to be the case by learning guys. Even if after five years they will be learning the same amount the training that one receives by learning before going to work in the outside world can not be understated.
The debate about whether someone who batels (part of the day) should still be in learning is a big debate I don’t really want to get into as there are many views on the subject by people much greater than me. I do believe that this is what notsoyeshivish was probably referring to.
I do think that many BY girls and BMG guys do have more of a realization that they may have to work eventually and that there is a responsibility to support a family.
The fact is there is a certain amount of people that are meant to work and that is their tafkid. And there is nothing wrong with that. To say otherwise is kefirah. Kach Keblati Meirabosai.
the point is that it wasn’t just the ramabam – everyone had a job back then and the current situation is completely unprecedented.