Reply To: Work vs. Kollel

This thread has mostly been about whether the Kollel system has been abused–I didn’t mean for that to be the main focus of this thread–I really don’t need confirmation of what I’ve seen with my own 2 eyes in various yeshivas.

I put this thread in the “Shidduchim” section of the board because I wanted to discuss how the fact that full time kollel isn’t taken fully seriously by a lot of people relates to shidduchim.

Apparently, girls in BY schools are taught that they should marry a guy who loves learning, and preferably someone who is going to learn full time. The problem with this and shidduchim then becomes that a lot of good BY girls become “close-minded” to only want FULL time learners. But as we know, many “full” time learners don’t take their learning seriously, and many “part time” learners are really able to grow in torah while also providing for their family.

So the question is: Why isn’t anything done about this obvious “flaw” in the system? I know a lot of part time learners/part time workers who are big talmidei chachamim–and meanwhile I’ve also seen a lot of full time kollel guys who really don’t take all 8 or so hours of seder everyday seriously. So what is with this idea many good BY girls have that they will only marry a “full” time learner? Is there a problem with both shteiging in torah everyday as well as supporting your family? I really don’t get it.