Sparkly: “lilmod ulelamaid – im trying to grow and so i NEED to convince my future husband who has a college degree to go to kollel that way we can raise a kollel family together.”
Sparkly, that’s beautiful, I just think that “chas v’shalom that my husband should work” sounds a bit extreme for you. I also think that you should go back and reread Meno’s post that he posted a link to. And I stand by my advice that you should go to Eretz Yisroel to learn for a bit, establish a hashkafic path for yourself, and most importantly find people who can give you guidance and be role models for you.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be for a full year, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be in Eretz Yisrael (although I don’t know if there are any options elsewhere), but I really think you need some guidance!
Does this guy have a Rav? If so, is his Rav someone you can speak to?