Reply To: Ladies First – Is it respectful or not?

Joseph, are you asking me personally what I think? I really have no idea. I guess it would depend what the norm is in their society, and I have no idea what most people do. I live in Israel, so it’s probably different anyhow.

In terms of going first: it seems to me that on the girl’s part, she should let the guy go first because of tznius. On the guy’s part (if the girl didn’t davka indicate that she wants him to go first), I have no idea what he should be doing. He should ask his Rav. If it’s really the norm for men to let ladies go first and she will be insulted if he doesn’t, perhaps he should let her go first, but then wait, so he’s not walking behind her.

Opening doors: I don’t know what the norm is or what most people expect. I don’t expect anyone to open the door for me, and I never thought anyone expected me to open the door for them. But again, I live in Israel. I did find it a little funny when I dated in America and the guys think they have to open and close the car door for me. I found it very awkward and uncomfortable actually because it’s hard to concentrate on getting in the car tzniusly when this guy is standing there waiting for you to get in so he can close the door. But I guess if that’s the norm there, then people expect it, so it becomes rude when you don’t.