DY -“Also, according to you, it’s perfectly acceptable to marry someone quite a bit younger, so why would age be a criterion for elimination?”
They aren’t eliminated; just recommended against only when you have more than one to choose.
That was the context I was referring to. I see at the end of your post that you agree that a large age difference can cause marital strife, so it seems that you agree to this basic point.
“One more thing – why does the beraisa say the issue is kettotah if the issue is finances?”
Kettoh means strife. In this case the strife is financial.
If you mean that finacial strain can lead to marital strife, I accept your point. Even if this was not your intention, I thought of this point over Shabbos (and I saw a Meiri who uses the term ketotah referring to the gemara on mem daled), and I retract this kasha.
“The pshat I mentioned is the simple pshat, and it does not pose any of these difficulties.
The kasha on mem daled is how can beis din allow an ill advised marriage (multiple wives – assumed in the kasha to be unaffordable) even if there’s a mitzvah of yibum. We find similarly in the beraisa that based on the pasuk of v’dibru, beis din advises (insists) against an ill advised marriage despite the mitzvah (the example the beraisa gave of an ill advised marriage is to someone of a very different age, which will lead to marital discord”
Ok, let’s say you could learn your P’shat that they use the Posuk to tell you that you aren’t allowed to do Yibum with older or younger women. My P’shat fits in so you don’t have to learn your way, but let’s say you want to. Where do you ever see you don’t have to be Mikayim Pru OORevu because of age difference? You want to say the Posuk throws it out of Yibum altogether, fine; but now take it and learn it by regular marriage -impossible. And you can’t say I’ll find someone else -this minute you are being Mevatel Pru OORevu. The same is true by the woman -this minute they aren’t being Mekayim L’sheves Yeetzoroh.
First, I will reiterate that your pshat does not fit in. The Meiri I mentioned, as well as the Ritva, both learn that the gemara on mem daled is asking from the beraisa as an analogy, not directly.
Of course he is not patur from p’ru ur’vu, but there’s no chiyuv to marry the first woman you meet even if it’s a horrible shidduch!
Now you know why Boaz said what Rus did was such a big chessed- marrying an older guy can cause marital strife and even so she wanted him. And in her case, not like nowadays it was Only chessed because e/o wanted to marry her.
I’m glad that we can agree, at least, that a large age gap can cause marital strife.
But in our generation they will sit aroung waiting in their twenties and thirties, not necessarily having s/o who definitely will marry them but as long as they won’t marry s/o older. Maybe the older guys aren’t Tzadikim like Boaz, but the girls aren’t like Rus either were e/o wants them or they would be married by 22!
I don’t think it’s fair to compare our generation to Rus and Boaz at all.
It’s also not realistic to expect a girl in her 20’s or 30’s to give up on a normal marriage and agree to marry someone who might be decades older than her.