“I still think my kids will feel like nebs, and I won’t allow that.”
Tell them that they are getting the most important role, and that unfortunately in our times it is not as respected. Show them the source in the gemara and tell them to be proud! And especially tell them not to be worried about what others think when they fulfill a mitzvah!!!
“if where you daven, they really give ppl kibbudim according to their “neb status”, then the ppl who run your shul, should be fired and you should get people with ahavas habrios, ahavas hatorah and their priorities straight, to run the shul.”
Or change shuls to one that respects our traditions.
“I would be thrilled and delighted to even be able to TOUCH the Torah every Shabbos”
There do exist Orthodox synagogues where you could — in fact the three closest ones to where I live allow this.
I use getting an aliyah or not getting an aliyah as a mussar lesson. When I find myself getting resentful that someone else whom I think is less deserving gets an aliyah and I don’t, it is a good reminder that NO amount of honor, NO amount of prestige, NO amount of respect will EVER be enough for my ego. When I get offered an honor, I take it. I often get hagbah because I am trusted not to drop the sefer torah.