My parents both married at an “older” age and while neither of them specifically speak a lot about specific emotions involved, both remained happy and connected by surrounding themselves with good friends, some of whom were in a similar situation. Half of my childhood consisted of hanging out with my “aunts,” or my mom’s best friends with whom she’d been single for so long, getting together for small things regularly and for big vacations every so often- bH they’re all married now, though some had to wait longer than others (my mom was one of the first). By forming that strong bond together and holding it close through everything that happened, they had a boost. While my mom’s chevra was specifically a “singles chevra,” my dad remained close with a lot of his friends who got married in the interim- as well as some single friends, who are sadly not all married. One criticism of a singles chevra can be that people get too complacent- and while that can happen, I feel like happiness and connectedness should take priority over a concern for complacency, as it’s entirely the person’s choice in the end anyway. My mother did note that it was harder for her than for my father to stay in touch with married friends- she made it a priority, but in the end shared experience and availability won out.
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