Veltz
I feel like you’re a friend of mine in need here of an outside perspective.
I think you were right in the matter of what your niece should not do.
But I don’t think that’s an issue right now anymore.
Your brothers family is probably insulted. They feel you were meddling in something that was none of your business. And worse you essentially accused them of poor judgement and incapable of handling their own lives. Maybe implying they were not as Frum as they should be. I don’t know.
I do know if it were me. After mulling over my hurt feelings for a while and reaffirming to myself from every angle how I was right, I would start thinking. Okay I’m right but they don’t think so, and they were hurt. What can I do now to restore Shalom among us. What can I do to make sure we stay close and loving.
I would probably go to them and say something like this:
Look. I really am sorry. You guys are certainly capable of making decisions like this. You sure don’t need MY advice. I apologize. It’s just that I love her so much and I was worried about her. I let my fears and emotions take control and maybe I meddled more than I should have. Whatever you all decide is certainly fine with me. It’s just that I know what goes on there and was worried how such a precious Neshamah could come out of there without being affected even a little.
I’m truly sorry and will try to be more trusting in your decisions in the future.
I didn’t say that well but that’s the gist.
Something like that.
That’s what I think you yourself maybe really want to do