Disclaimer-I just joined this thread and didnt read all of the other posts yet.
I think that the main problem is in America. I dont have anything against America but i see a big differance from where i come from and America. I grew up in Europe (not long ago, im quite young) and my mother always potched me if I did something wrong. It was the norm in europe 20 years ago and now. I and my sibling still behave to this day (I remember some misbehaviour now and then as we were just “kids”).
Then, we came to America and my other younger siblings were a whole different story. It wasnt (and still isnt) normall to potch your kids here in America. I was behaved as a more “educated” person while my younger siblings just did whatever they wanted . It doesnt mean that my mother never put them in time-out but it is much different when you grow up in America now than growing up in Europe.
In America, if you potch your kids any neighbor walking by could call child services because you were potching the tush of the child who almost put his/her life in danger.
If you potch your kids for the above mentioned example the kid could be terrorized because you just potched him, even though you are his parent and you have every right to do so.
Its like the kid doesnt even belong to you. It belongs to the government and if you “ruin” government property you go to jail.