Reply To: Hilchos Shmiras Haloshon

PROPER REACTION:

Based on the previous rules, it is clear that upon hearing loshon hora, one should promptly interrupt the speaker and reprimand him for his words. In a case where doing so would casue the speaker embarrassment (i.e. others are present), it is preferable that one tactfully change the subject, thus preventing the further speaking of loshon hora, and offer reproof later (in private).

If one finds himself unable to change the subject, he should walk away. While incapable of fulfilling his obligation to reprove, one must, nevertheless, avoid transgressing the sin of listening to loshon hora. If one feels uncomfortable leaving, the least he should do is try hs best to ignore what is being said, and use facial expression to show disapproval. Certainly, he should not appear as though he is enjoying the conversation.

One must train himself to defend his values, to be more concerned with truth than with his personal pride. Ultimately, one will find that the less he fears scorn and derision of scoffers, the more his self-esteem will grow -and his stature will grow in the eyes of others as well. (ibid, Day 95)