Wow, this went places since I was here last…
Futuregirl- In some schools, havara might go back and forth- I have friends who went to Migdal Oz who had teachers who used sav instead of tav (mostly rabbis). I wouldn’t be hung up on it. I’m not sure about DB, but Michlalah certainly celebrates Yom Haatzmaut (I have great memories of it). MMY, Shaalvim, etc certainly do as well.
This might sound weird, but check out the list of schools that do Kedma (YU-sponsored choir competition for charity). Often, more BY places won’t allow their students to take part, and you can kind of detect a pattern. In yeshivish parlance, it’s basically DB and left. Also, you might want to check out the sem guide on YU’s website. (I think it’s basically the same schools.)
As far as gemara goes, some schools teach it, some schools don’t want to know if you learn it, and some schools may be more disapproving. Mich doesn’t teach it (though apparently they used to have an underground chug with a member of the administration) but they wouldn’t care if you did on your own time.
This could just be me, but I feel like, based on your description, places like Machon Maayan, Harova and Baer Miriam might not be as serious as you seem to want. I could be off base about that, though, so definitely talk to people who went there to find out for sure. If you are looking for that sort of thing, like I said, Midreshet Tehillah might also be a school to look into.
I don’t know if you live in NY, but you just missed YU’s Israel fair- maybe find out if your high school is having one?
LU- I wouldn’t knock Mich as being “not out of town” really. They got plenty of in towners, but also girls from all over the US and the world. I’d say it’s on par with DB in that regard (and on instinct, I’d think that DB was more “in-town” style). I also believe that if Zionism and MO aspects are important to futuregirl, she might prefer Mich to DB. I’d also say that I definitely know girls who are as the OP describes herself who went to Shaalvim, but I agree, MMY might be better.
Also, I like what you said about women’s gemara skills- you won’t find a lot of women on the same skill level as the average yeshivish man, but that’s only because he’s been learning gemara* for a very long time. Girls often just happen to have spent less time on the subject. Girls in coed schools with mixed gemara, for example, do just as well as their male classmates. And when they do put in that intense effort, they continue to shine.
One thing- first you say “many gedolim” might not agree with Zionism, then you say “the gedolim.” Wouldn’t that itself- the implication that some of “the gedolim” might not be as against Zionism as you say- imply a bit more of the pluralism that you say isn’t really right? How many gedolim are needed to form a consensus, and to whom must it apply? Must a person get approval from every gadol for their hashkafa? Or can someone rely on gedolei Torah whom they personally follow? And no, not all RZ is like Mercaz Harav, but plenty other RZ yeshivos and groups also are lesheim shamayim (I’d say all, just as I assume that all charedi groups are as well).
word substitution. Sorry but the negativity was not gonna fly, and I hope that isn’t a personal perspective 🙁