It is my understanding no Beis Din would “order” you to give a get unless there was some form of counseling to try and save the marriage.
“we’re doing quite well”
That may be true, but your wife might be looking for something more than an ATM machine as a spouse and she is using these charges against you as a means of “getting out” since she feels you are a hopeless case in the emotional needs department. Perhaps you are not physically abusing her, but you are emotionally. That is what counseling will help figure out.