ZD, as I wrote in my earlier post, in many situations, your words would be excellence advice. I just didn’t think there was enough evidence at that point (after Lenny’s initial post) that this was one of those cases. However, after seeing Lenny’s later posts, it does seem that this may be one of those cases and Lenny would be well-advised to take your words to heart.
Either way, they should definitely speak to a Rav, Beis Din and/or marriage therapist as soon as possible.