lilmod, I don’t see what you (and possibly “nisht”, if your understanding of his comment is correct) are seeing in the totality of Lenny’s posts. There’s nothing he said indicating he is controlling.
Also, Shulchan Aruch gives numerous cases where when one spouse requests a divorce and the other spouses wishes to continue the marriage, beis din al pi halacha will deny the request for a divorce. In fact, that is the default. Halachicly, where one spouse wishes to continue the marriage the other spouse cannot mandate a divorce absent proof that their spouse committed a wrong that halacha specifically recognizes as giving cause for a divorce. Absent that, beis din is halachicly mandated to deny the divorce petition.