“Lilmod, are you sure when u say ” in most cases is that the Beis Din convinces the husband to give his wife a get.” Per my discussions with a Beis Din in Lakewood, NJ earlier today, as long as one person wants to stay in the marriage, they would at least require counseling and still not necessarily order a Get. Even if both people wanted a divorce, they would try talking them out of it. I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m just saying that absent a halachic reason for a Get, my understanding is most beis din would not try to “convince” anyone to give a Get. But I could be wrong.”
First of all, I was talking about after they have tried counseling and tried to work things out and not been successful. I’m sorry if that wasn’t clear.
I am not 100% sure, but I do think that if one person wants to get divorced and the other doesn’t and they go for marriage counseling, if the marriage therapist thinks they are not compatible (not necessarily because one of them is abusive. It can be because they are just not a match personality-wise), he/she will try to convince the other to get divorced. I definitely know of one case like this. I am assuming that most Rabbanim will do the same (after the couple has tried marriage counseling).
I definitely know of cases where only one person initially wanted the divorce, so apparently someone convinced the other person (whether it was the marriage therapist, Rav or the person’s conscience). I definitely know that there are Rabbanim and therapists who think that lack of personality compatibility can be a good reason to get divorced (if they tried to work it out and go for therapy and were unsuccessful).