Lenny, both of you need a counselor who is not biased to one side. The wrong counselor can do even more damage sometimes, especially if he/she is making conclusions from only one side of the story. I do think it is great that you are trying to get her to go for joint counseling. Perhaps by starting to go by yourself, even if she does not agree, will show her that you do care about her issues and may soften her stance. Maybe you will learn something about yourself and your relationship with her, and you can make changes that might help the situation.
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