Abba_S, He said that she has been complaining to their Rabbi for over 20 years that he is controlling and abusive. He also said that she hates him. It is quite clear that she has been miserable for a very long time. Women generally take many years to actually get divorced even if they are miserable. It is a very difficult decision to make, and a woman’s natural tendency is to feel that she should try to make things work and not get divorced too quickly even if she is miserable.
“When they got married they were love birds” Who says??!! Many (if not most) people who get divorced were miserable from the beginning.
I agree with you that there does seem to be a communication problem here, although there is no way for us to know who is to “blame” for that (I don’t mean blame literally – no one chooses to have a hard time with communication and I think that it is a problem that everyone has to some extent). The question is if the communication problem can be resolved at this point, and also if that is the only issue. Hopefully those are questions that the marriage therapist will be able to answer.