Joseph:
1. Thank you very much for responding to my question in your second post!
2. As seen by your first post, you are still completely missing my point. I never said that we don’t posken like the Shulchan Aruch. I made it clear the entire time that I do not know the halachos and I am not talking about the halachos. I am talking about what the Rabbanim do l’maaseh in a situation in which a get can not be forced halachically but they feel that it would be a good idea, as well as what the appropriate recourse would be for the husband in this situation (as you discussed in your second post).
3. If you read my posts carefully, you would see that there was no need for your first post – only for the second post – since your first post had nothing to do with anything I have been writing. I have been referring to the scenario in your second post the entire time.
4. “lilmod, a bit of humility is in order” I am extremely hurt and offended by that sentence. I would not have expected that from you.
5. You wrote that I said that we don’t posken like the Shulchan Aruch. I never said any such thing, and I am offended that you would think that I said such a thing. I said that I am discussing what happens l’maaseh. L’maaseh, many people get divorced nowadays without having witnesses to physical abuse (in most cases, I don’t think there even is physical abuse, but there certainly are no witnesses) even though it was only the wife who wanted the Get and not the husband. The Beis Din may not be able to force the husband to give a Get (as per the Shulchan Aruch you quoted) but he can be convinced or pressurred to do so (by the Rabbanim involved or his wife or others) and that is what happens many if not most of the time.
6. I wouldn’t be so quick to say “the husband is committing no sin”. There are many areas of halacha. The fact that Beis Din can’t force someone to do something does not mean that it is not an aveira. He is being over on “V’ahavta l’raecha kamocha.” by forcing his wife to stay in what is probably an abusive marriage. (I’m assuming that we are talking about respectable trustworthy Rabbanim who have a good reason for recommending the divorce and that his reasons for not giving one are based on stubborness, selfishness and/or spite. There may be other scenarios, but those are not the ones I am referring to. I am also not referring to a case in which he sincerely thinks things can work out and he tries for a limited period of time, and when he sees it’s futile does give the Get within a reasonable amount of time.)